Post 75.

Handicap again

No idea if I was able to tune in on someone else if it was the other way around and I was the healthy one. If it was a loved one, I hope so.
Empathy is a female feature. That should help me. A mother has to understand the needs of her young, whether they are hungry, cold, or too hot. It is simply functional. Alpha males can also possess this characteristic; a good leader is able to sense what goes on in the gang. But they don’t walk around by the dozen. Alpha females neither, by the way.

A handicap aggravates conflicts. I suppose my greatest problem is not the disease itself, I am surrounded by problems like everyone else. Being crippled and dependent deprives me from the right to address these problems like I would like to. It is a struggle for equality; I don’t want to be the same. I am not the same. I want equal rights. I don’t wish to have to make double, or triple effort for everything. I already have the disease to deal with. That is the meaning of a handicap.

Being ill prevents me from being the mother I would like to be, the professional I worked my whole life to be. I don’t need other people to add to this. And yet, that happens. Revalidation doesn’t mean you get help to escape processes everybody is subjected to. You have to learn to cope with it and the illness at the same time.


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